The Drive to Aim High Read online

  THE DRIVE TO AIM HIGH:

  SEVEN POWERFUL MINDSETS PROVEN TO GUARANTEE YOUR SUCCESS

  AL KAMARA

  DEDICATION

  I dedicate this book in the memory of my mother, Miatta Kamara, for her wisdom and courage to send me out into the world.

  Also, in the memory of my beloved stepfather, G. Marcus Kelley, without whom, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

  The Drive to Aim High: Seven Powerful Mindsets Proven to Guarantee Your Success

  by Al Kamara

  Digital | 978-1-944027-17-9

  Soft | 978-1-944027-14-8

  Copyright © Networlding Publishing, 2019

  All Rights Reserved

  www.networlding.com

  Contents

  Introduction

  Chapter 1: The Observation Mindset

  Chapter 2: The Possibility Mindset

  Chapter 3: The Resilience Mindset

  Chapter 4: The Passion Mindset

  Chapter 5: The Courage Mindset

  Chapter 6: The Persistence Mindset

  Chapter 7: The Legacy Mindset

  Chapter 8: Why Mindset Matters

  Before You Go

  INTRODUCTION

  “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.”

  —Gautama Buddha

  What are the chances that a boy born into sheer poverty in a village in Africa, who didn’t learn to properly read or write until the age of fifteen, would graduate from a university, become a successful entrepreneur, and eventually write a book?

  I know, it sounds like a fairytale, and, it is truly my fairytale.

  I was born in a small village northwest of Monrovia in Liberia. The population at the time of my birth was approximately 73 residents. The county where my village is located was a center of iron ore and diamond mining until it was destroyed in the Liberian Civil War. But, even before that, it had no streets, no streetlights, no electricity, no roads, and no running water. The houses were built from red mud with thatched roofs crowning their tops. We had no schools or hospitals.

  As was the tradition in my village, my father practiced polygamy. Consequently, he had a total of seven wives in his life. My mother was his first wife, and as such, became the head wife of the family. She gave birth to my older brother and me. Later in life, when I revisited my birthplace, I learned that I had nineteen brothers and sisters, making us a family of twenty children.

  But, I always knew I was special because I believed my mother who constantly told me, “You will become a big man.” The English translation means, “You will become a successful man.”

  It was a tradition in my village for people like my parents, who had no formal education, to hold strong beliefs in prophecies or words spoken by the elders. The eldest male ruled the village and made decisions on many matters the families of the village brought forward to him.

  In my case, the prediction about my future came from the town chief, the eldest man in our village. His proclamation regarding my destiny was more than sufficient to trigger an everlasting belief in my mother’s mind that I would indeed become a success. She took ownership of this prophecy, which she began repeating to me at a very early age. I only learned from my mother later as an adult that her belief in me “becoming a big man” came from the chief, my namesake, upon my birth.

  Those four words inspired me to become the person I am today. They are powerful words, not because they contain any special wisdom, but because they made me believe in myself. My mother’s trust in this prophesy that I would be successful empowered me to work through any failure that came my way. Her powerful belief in me has created a series of foundational mindsets that enable me to explore, learn, develop, and constantly overcome the challenges that life presents to me - to all of us.

  Over time, these mindsets became real and useful tools for me - tools that helped me excel in school, university, my first job, the start of my company, and throughout my life with my wife and my children. Many others throughout history have used various mindsets to their advantage. I have adapted my own in ways that have served me well, and through this book, I hope they will help you take them to heart. During my research for this book, I also discovered that a number of famous people have benefitted by letting go of “small mindsets,” and, instead, adopting powerful mindsets that helped them break through life’s roadblocks to achieve great success.

  Take Kevin Hart, the successful comedic actor, and what he says about how he broke through to success: “No matter what, people grow. If you choose not to grow, you’re staying in a small box with a small mindset. People who win go outside of that box. It’s very simple when you look at it.”

  Hart’s insight implies that people choose their fates based on their mindsets. He has seen, as many have, that when you hold a small mindset you don’t leverage the opportunities that come your way. This could look like you’re living your life from a reactive versus a proactive mindset. In your work life, this looks like you’re working to avoid losing versus working to win! But, you have a choice. You can get on the path to success on a daily basis. Using your God-given interests and talents, combined with hard work, why not focus on developing mindsets that will steer you to success? I know you have that potential and ability when you tap into big (rather than small), powerful mindsets. Let me show you how.

  I’ve spent years identifying, developing, and implementing seven mindsets that will give you a unique toolset to meet and exceed your personal and professional goals. They are:

  Observation Mindset

  Possibility Mindset

  Resilience Mindset

  Passion Mindset

  Courage Mindset

  Persistence Mindset

  Legacy Mindset

  These mindsets have given me the courage and strength to develop my business. They have made me more resilient and better able to reject failure as the end route to my dreams. They have developed my passion for all that I do, and a strong belief that good results are bound to happen if I believe in myself. And they have helped me grow into a wise man, and together with my wife, raise my two talented sons, encouraging them to dream and believe in their abilities and go after their dreams.

  This book invites you to tap into these seven mindsets, which can help you achieve your potential and meet your challenges head on, no matter where you live or what areas of your life you choose to focus on, whether it’s personal, family, sports, or business. In each chapter, I will showcase one mindset and share how I applied it to overcome specific challenges. At the end of each chapter, I will offer takeaways for you to quickly implement that particular mindset. This will enable you to focus on an effective path to your own success.

  There is no question that the seven mindsets have helped me meet every challenge in my life. I am confident that after reading this book, you, too, will be able to employ them in your own drive to aim high!

  01

  THE OBSERVATION MINDSET

  Amos Bronson Alcott, father of author Louisa May Alcott, and a visionary leader in educational reform, once said: “Observation more than books and experience more than persons, are the prime educators.”

  It is well documented that children learn best in a safe and loving environment. It may not look like the one you imagine, but it can still provide the nurturing environment and relationships that help children develop into adults with great values and behavior. Children learn by observing and copying the people they love; people who are warm and nurturing, and/or the people who are important to them, like authority figures (in the family or the community).

  Many times, children will observe the actions of adults without them knowing, and then they often imitate them. Further, if what these children saw has an emotional impact, i
t will stick inside their memory and later activate in their adult life, often without them even realizing the genesis of that emotional trigger.

  In psychology, this is called observational learning. It’s also called shaping, and modeling. It’s being taught through the actions, behaviors, and beliefs of the people that the children love, those who care for them. It is not intentional. Children will learn this way naturally, without understanding or reasoning its impact on their lives.

  This kind of learning will produce patterns in setting lifelong goals. Children will copy not only behaviors, but also values - ways to build relationships, roles in their communities, just like the ones that impacted them. It’s a mixture of what they see, the explanations they receive, and the verbal language that will empower both the action and description.

  Sometimes, children will copy behaviors of people of higher status, people they admire. The adults around them are the ones who will make the connection between what the children know, what they understand, and the new experience. They give it structure and context to make the experience rich and more impactful.

  My Observation Learning

  In the village in Liberia where I grew up, the elders pass on history through storytelling. This was also a major form of entertainment for the children, and I was no exception. I reveled in the regularly held storytelling circles. There I was, cradled in my mother’s arms, eyes glowing with excitement, leaning forward to catch every word of the unique and always engaging tales.

  These provided entertainment for hours along with their timeless wisdom. It was during these story-weaving sessions that I planted the first seeds of the observation mindset that I would use throughout my life.

  Today, children are raised with information bombarding them daily. From TV, commercials, computers and cell phones, and information about the wide world around them - all of this creates continuous stimulation that leaves them little time to spend authentically observing, discovering, and proactively connecting in the world.

  From this perspective, I was lucky. Poverty notwithstanding, the life in my village was simple, but it had a kind of serenity, with few unexpected surprises. Days passed by in the same manner, one after another. As a result, I had plenty of time to observe every little detail of my surroundings.

  For instance, I learned through observation how to make my own toys and how to avoid all the risks and hazards encountered in my daily errands. Those errands included bringing fruits and woods back from the forest, and learning how to gather water from the creek while avoiding the wasps’ nests and forest creatures.

  Psychologists have demonstrated that, as adults, we are emotionally shaped by the tiny experiences and interactions we make in our first years of life. Like the great Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “Give me a child until he is seven, and I will show you the man.”

  For me, the most vivid experience connected to those young years comes from my mother. She was the center of my little universe. My mother used to take me with her into the woods and to the river where she would wash our clothes. Or, we would walk between villages for days looking for traditional medicines when she or one of us children was sick.

  On those long walks, she would talk to me and guide me in ways that would have a lasting impact on my life. Observing and absorbing her day-to-day wisdom, warmth, and soothing care enriched my life with a desire to look for deep, meaningful, authentic relationships. It’s that simple. It’s all about your exposure to stimuli from a caring parent or any person. Studies show that we tend to unknowingly be receptive to the same stimuli in our lives as we were exposed to in our early years.

  Observing my mother, I became strong enough to go through whatever I encountered in life because of the love and the energy that she gave me unconditionally.

  Now, looking back from my adult perspective, I see that in those first years I also learned a great deal about the rhythms of life, people, and commitment by observing how the elders of my village lived their lives and performed their daily tasks. All of these activities called for us as children to be very disciplined and focused on carefully watching in order to learn one or more crafts.

  One thing I remember observing is how my parents prepared our farm for planting rice. Rice farming in the villages of Liberia was labor-intensive work that called for strong discipline from everyone in the village. The men did most of the farming. As a child, I observed every year how my father and the men of our village prepared the land at the beginning of the farming season.

  This process began with the men manually brushing the land, cutting down the trees, burning the bushes, and clearing away the remains of the trees. All of this was done manually. When the land was prepared, both the women and men participated in planting the crops using homemade instruments, or by hand-sowing the rice seeds.

  Before we boys participated in the farming process, we first observed our fathers and the other village men daily. By watching diligently, we not only learned the best farming procedures, but also absorbed the cultural values of this important process. Additionally, we all adopted a dedication to farming. For those who stayed, they committed to caring for the land to feed the men, women, and children, which was essential to everyone’s well-being. Here, due to the observation mindset, those in my village kept their farming tradition intact.

  Even as children, we played a very important role after the rice was grown. We were responsible for keeping the birds away from the rice fields. We did this by observing the birds from a distance. Our young eyes were able to spot a flock of possible rice-snatching birds much farther away than any of the adult men. As a result, using the self-made instruments we had on the farm, we were able to chase any destructive flock away before any damage might occur.

  Our work of observing and scaring the birds away was a daily task, and very intense. Sometimes our mothers would join us when they were not so busy or were just taking a break from other activities on the farm.

  Even though the experiences I learned from at a very young age in my village only registered unconsciously back then, they eventually served to build my strong values around family, friendship, teamwork, and commitment to something bigger than myself - the welfare and sustainability of my community, my village.

  Learning by Observing Beyond My Birth Family

  When I turned 10 years old, my mother decided to send me away to get an education to secure a better future for myself. Now, that I am a parent, I can only imagine what it must have meant for her to separate from me. I was her second and last child, and she gave me her all. It was because of her selfless act of love that my life changed forever, and I took a different path, one far better than the obligatory paths of my siblings.

  My first adoptive father, Alphonso B. Gaye, was a businessman who managed his own private firm in Monrovia (about 160 miles from my village in Liberia). He worked in partnership with several multinational companies in Liberia. Later in his life, he worked for the government as the managing director of the National Port Authority of Liberia.

  As an adopted child, I was essentially considered a servant to the family. This was an unspoken practice for underprivileged children. In return for care and education I received, I was expected at age ten to assume a variety of responsibilities that included cleaning, dishwashing, shopping, and learning how to cook.

  I had to do all of these chores before and after school every day. But honestly, I never looked at myself as a servant. Rather, I looked at this new family as educators who could offer me more insights as to how to live a better life.

  Because of the observation practices I picked up back in my home village, I now turned my attention to learning as much as I could about my adoptive father’s business activities. I was keenly aware of the success his work brought him and his family, such as his numerous fancy cars, each branded with the initials of one or another of his children on their respective license plates. This was a major demonstration to me of what a businessman could achieve, if he was successful. I a
lso took note of his style of dress, as well as the apparel of his many business associates.

  Observing the details of his prosperity, his examples taught me. From the beginning of my stay with my new family I felt somehow strangely in my comfort zone. Even though my life away from home was far from agreeable, I knew I was fortunate.

  What’s more, my observation of his lifestyle as a businessman inspired in me a vision of who I might become. I knew that to craft my own success I needed to be willing to work hard and emulate the way he so effectively operated in the business world. As an adult, I would follow in my adoptive father’s footsteps, becoming a sales agent first, then a business executive, and later, an entrepreneur. Becoming an entrepreneur was my first goal in life, and one that I unconsciously established and later achieved.

  School

  Another door that opened up with my new family was my entrance into school for the first time. I was registered in the first grade despite being 10 years old. It was the first time I had ever seen a classroom. I remember my first year at school was one of total repose. I didn’t understand much of what was happening, so I kept quiet, but I was keenly aware through observation of everything I needed to learn.

  Although I paid attention and learned a lot, by the end of my first year in school, I was still unable to use that knowledge and express myself accordingly. So, I had to repeat first grade. But again, it was fine for me because the additional time allowed me to fill in the gaps in my education from not having attended school earlier.

  Even though I didn’t fully understand what was happening around me as I entered school for the first time, within a few years I was able to put together a new framework of my life. This enabled me to produce new insights from the solid observation mindset I had established then. This observation framework was the foundation that fostered continuous learning and growth throughout my life. It was the perfect mindset and provided me with a foundation for all the other mindsets I have developed.